Thursday, 25 February 2010
Growing up as a child, I lived in a place where expressing my thoughts and feelings spontaneously was considered as a form of disobedience. There was a spoken rule between parents and children that respect is to be held up high, eventually forgetting that affection owns a much higher ground. It was a concept misunderstood by both, and in my case it led to a very lonely and sometimes unfulfilling childhood. Though being a happy child, there was always a kind of emptiness that left a pang in the pit of my stomach for never being able to express what I thought and felt.
So I looked for my own way out to self satisfaction and spent most hours of my days doodling and drawing on every blank paper I could find. I would pretend to be living the stories in my head, sometimes talking to myself as I did this. Laughing, and even crying if the plot didn’t go according to plan. In my head, I could yell and scream, kiss and be kissed, tell the truth and hear the truth. All in all, I was content.
Despite of the emptiness I felt then, I’m thankful that my attempt had actually led me to my path of self discovery. I can now express my thoughts and feelings they way I choose to be heard and recognized, regardless my past and background. The idea of being able to spread my thoughts to the world and to people such as you, for instance, is a satisfaction I crave on. Today, older and hopefully wiser, I am still the girl doodling away her dreams and filling the void that is no longer empty.
Thank you for being a part of my world, dear friends and strangers, even if it's just for a minute...
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Once there was a little girl who grew up thinking that the world is the most beautiful place of all fairy tales. That everyone was there to love and be loved, that kindness is a joy shared willingly with no reasons. She believed in faeries and enchanted castles, knights in shining armors and graceful princesses, good over evil and yes, that true love conquers all.
She learned that being kind to other people was important, whether they were good or bad, whether they caused her joy or pain. She believed all humans were good underneath and sometimes they just needed help for a little change in nature.
Befriended with animals and creatures alike, her dear bunny friend once said, “If you can’t say anything nice…don’t say nothing at all.” It was a virtue she held close to her heart and practiced all her life, even though many treated her otherwise. People called her silly and pathetic, some even labeled her as a pushover for always being nice and polite, but mostly, for always being forgiving.
How she learned all these things, still puzzles me until this very day. Why she still believes in them now, puzzles me even more, because life today is a galaxy away from what she sees in her mind. Pain is definitely one thing she knows well, yet she still manages to show a smile on her face to disguise it.
So here’s to you, a breath of fresh air, a sparkling drop of dew. In the midst of all the harshness and cynicism of the world, I pray that you stand tall and hope your beliefs never wither away.
Friday, 19 February 2010
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Close your eyes, my love, for the winds will blow and the waves will bring you back to my arms.
They say that true love never dies. I say true love is simply human. It breathes, it feeds, it sleeps, it grows and sometimes even fades away. It may return, to stay indefinitely, and many times it says good bye but lingers on for a lifetime. You can reach out but cannot truly grasp it and often push it away just to feel it clinging tight to your heart.
So for now, I will embrace you, true love. I will hold you and shower you with all the best that I have. But please remember that my heart is true and that it bears no shield, for I am only human just as you are.