Silent Nurturing

People say that being a mother is a God's given talent which every woman naturally possesses. The ability to endure physical and emotional changes for bearing and rearing children is unquestionably one thing only women are able to do. But why do some marvel from others? And how is it possible that many break down before their very own eyes? Is it because imperfection is in every human being? Or is it just a proof that like many other talents, being a good mother resides in some women but not in others?

I have been a mother myself for seven years. Seven minuscule years, colored with joy, excitement, hope, tiredness, weariness and self doubt. Not a day goes by in my life without wondering if I'm being a good mother to my children. Will I be able to cope when things go wrong? And most importantly, will I be able to shape them into good human beings for their future? Sadly, I don't think I'm very good at this so-called 'God's given talent'. I find myself struggling with each phase and episode, sometimes wishing I knew every answer to them. Answers which books and magazines don't seem to provide.

Silent Nurturing; graphite drawing with tea stains and watercolors

Recalling my own childhood, my mother was not the sort who showered her children with tender loving affection. Although I know how much she cares for her children, there were times as a child when I wondered if she loved us at all. She was always away during the day, trusted our care to nannies and even as we grew up shared no deep emotional connections with her children. And yet she provided all our needs, gave us things we wanted, made sure we went to the best schools, "pushed" us to be successful and well married. Were those her own way of being a good mother? Maybe this God's given talent comes in all shapes and sizes. That sometimes children are to learn about it by themselves?

With my childhood experience, I have vowed to provide my children with the one thing I craved as a child. My mother's presence. So I quit my job the day I held my daughter for the first time and never once looked back. I knew there would be sacrifices to make and I'm still learning to adapt every day even as I write this. No matter how big a doubt I have hovering above my head, being a mother is now my first priority and I'm in it for life, to endure and embrace. My only prayer is that one day my children would be able to see pass all my imperfections and understand how much they mean to me.

Special note: I have been lucky enough to have met women who seem to be blessed by this amazing talent. Some I met in person, and some through this blog. This is my dedication to them, and one that stands out in memory is this particularly lovely friend, who as I see it, blossoms each day with motherhood. Bless her heart. ♥

Faces and Reflection

I have been drifting around the house doing nothing particularly productive for the past week. The same cycle goes on. I'd sit at the drawing table, pick up a pencil and pause. Draw a face and stop. Get up to the kitchen, make coffee and read a book. A pile of laundry to wash, kids to feed and TV programs that steal none of my interests. Then I'd come back to the drawing table, take a longer pause, draw another face and stop. Strangely enough, I haven't been able to go anywhere beyond faces, faces, and more faces. So after kicking and forcing myself to paint my last pieces, which as you already know were yet again faces, I decided to call it quits for a while. That is until a fellow artist asked me a question that really stopped my drifting completely. He wanted to know if those faces were me.

Good question, I thought to myself. I never have models posed for my work, and I always start a drawing anywhere I please on a paper without thinking or imagining. From one single line and finish with another. So why do these faces seem familiar? Maybe they are me, just tiny fractions of myself that accidentally slipped through. Or maybe inspirations that have sneaked into my mind while I read the abundant copies of books that have now taken up as much space as the growing spread of toys in my kids' room. Well, call me a bookworm, but they are my ultimate source of inspiration. With characters alive in my mind...imperfect, not without flaws. Enchanting, yet human to the core.


So here goes another face, and her name is Meghann.The beautiful "ashes of roses".
 

"...There is a legend, about a bird that sings just once in its life. From the moment it leaves its nest, it searches for a thorn tree and does not rest until it's found one. And then it sings more sweetly than any other creature on the face of the earth. And singing, it impales itself on the longest, sharpest thorn. But, as it dies, it rises above its own agony, to out-sing the lark and the nightingale. The thorn bird pays its life for just one song, but the whole world stills to listen, and God in his heaven smiles. For the best is only bought at the cost of great pain..."

Maybe you could guess which book she lingers in?

Afterwards

 After dark, comes light

After silence, voices speak

After grief, enters life

~A.K~

My dedication for the grieving victims of Mentawai - Merapi disasters. 

Hope and faith, always.

All images are available at my shop, where you can still reach out and help donate for them.

Again, my warmest gratitude for all friends who have bought my original black and white drawings. Your generous donations are deeply appreciated.

My best,

Amalia oxox

Sow Your Light #5 & Donations with Every Art Print Purchase at My Shop!!!!

I'm overjoyed by the amazing enthusiasm I get from my wonderful blogger friends for this donation! And some of you may wonder why I have decided to donate original drawings instead of prints, which obviously involves more work and definitely more time consuming. Well, the reason is simply because originals are unique and special. I feel personally involved while creating them and I believe people deserve something special in the exchange of their helping hand. Nevertheless, given the slow speed I'm taking to create these drawings, I've decided, in addition to the original drawings, to donate $5 off each art print sale over at my shop throughout this month, until further notice. It may not be much, but it's the best I can do for now, while more people would have the chance to reach out. So please, help spread the word.

Anyway, here is my fifth drawing for the donation...

Sow Your Light #5

Original drawing
Size: A4
US$25.00
( not including shipping cost)

***** SOLD to a dear friend *****

Sow Your Light #4

This is my fourth drawing for the Mentawai-Merapi donation... I hope this girl brings you peace and opens your heart.

And thank you for all of you who have been kind and generous enough to purchase all my previous drawings for the donation. Bless you!

♥♥♥

Sow Your Light #4

Original drawing
Size: A4
US$25.00
( not including shipping cost)

***** SOLD to a dear friend *****

Sow Your Light #3

The tsunami came and destroyed many parts of Mentawai coast, Indonesia, over a week ago, and death counts have risen to over 430 people with more than 150 still reported missing. While much are being done to help these victims, they are still living out of fear that more disasters are coming their way.

The same goes for the victims of Merapi eruption in Central Java, where the volcano is still actively spewing lava and emitting smoke until this day. Sadly, it was also pointed out that 25 children are now permanently handicapped because of their wounds.

I hope many of you are still in the spirit to help, given my slow progress of creating new drawings for the donation. It's not easy to squeeze in some time to draw in between work and life, but I'm trying my best.

 

Sow Your Light #3

Original drawing
Size: A4
US$25.00
( not including shipping cost)

***** SOLD to a dear friend *****

Please, feel free to e-mail me if you'd like to lend a hand for these people.


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Sow Your Light #2

The second drawing available for purchase. All proceedings will be donated to the victims of Mentawai tsunami and Merapi eruption. For those of you who missed my last post, please read more here. Again, I can't thank you enough for your kind prayers and warmest thoughts.

Sow Your Light #2

Original drawing
Size: A4
US$25.00
( not including shipping cost)

***** SOLD to a dear friend *****

If you decided to purchase this drawing, please send me a note, so I can put up the SOLD sign immediately.

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