My dear lovelies,
I can't even begin to apologize for being away far too long from blogging. So much have happened in the last couple of months that I've been having difficulties trying to put everything down into words. I kept coming here to start writing, but failed at every attempt. The truth is, something happened that suddenly put a halt to my life altogether. My father had a heart attack and had to be hospitalized.
Yes. I know too well about the pain of losing the one you love, even more the pain of overcoming the loss. I must say that even the thought of it could leave my heart broken into little pieces, which was exactly how it was when my father was ill. I just kept thinking, what if?, what would I do then? Of course, all I could do was pray, be there for him and hoped that everything would be all right at the end.
I spent most of my time visiting him, and when I came home, I worked like a zombie, trying to put aside all the worries and horrible thoughts that occupied my head. My work is the only remedy I know for troubled times. In the past, I have tried turning my back on ugly situations and pretended that my heart would be better off if my head would try to rationalize things. But the truth is, I'm not that type of person. I can't suppress my emotions and block them with logic. Instead, I embrace everything, breathe them in and let them live in me. Dangerous, I know, but it's the only way I know of enduring.
I'm just relieved and glad that my father survived the storm. The experience left my heart bleeding, but the wound will make me stronger and braver at the end. Eventually.