Love for The Pain

Isn't it strange how life keeps reminding you of things that you tend to forget or rather not think about? Pain, illnesses, death, being some of them. Though these things do exist in the past, present and most likely in the future, we often get carried away with just 'living' and could only gasp when it hits us right in the face.

These last few days I've been remembering past memories of my late friend, Andia. We met during my first year in college and we became inseparable instantly. She died at the age of 30 from cancer and never once during the eleven years we were friends, did I think that I would be living this day without her. She was the best friend I've ever had and will forever stay in that special place in my heart.

A few days ago, I received a message on Facebook, from a new friend, Camille. She had openly told me of the illness she's suffering from and had confided that one of her wishes was to have just a little token of my art at home. I was touched by her bravery and of course, that little token of my art will find its new home with her very soon. Again, another reminder that somewhere, in another part of the world, oceans away from where I am, someone is battling for her life.

And now a little twist to the story. Just this morning I received a kind, kind gift from my wonderful friend, Ces, who has generously given me an award. The Renee Award. For those of you who were blessed to have known Renee, you'll know that she was an extraordinary woman with a heart of gold, and battling with cancer was also the last story of her life.

This particular award is one framed with love and friendship. Designed by her dearest friends, Ces and Bella, The Renee Award is a strong proof that life has its own way of creating love for the pain. So thank you, Ces and Bella, I'm so glad our paths crossed somewhere in this life and I hope I'm lucky enough to call you friends for a very long time.

Flows Like Water

I'm sure many of my artist friends would agree when I say that ideas and emotions often come along side by side in creating art. To me personally, sometimes the process seems like such a blur that there are times when I can't even see or hear anything but the idea itself forming in my head. In this particular moment, it's hard to doubt or argue with myself... if I should do this instead of that, if I should use this color or any other... Everything just flows, like water. Of course, because of this, I make a pretty lousy critic for my own work, seeing that most of them are created based on my personal thoughts and emotions.

It's funny that this musing was actually triggered by a simple question my six year old daughter asked me.  She wanted to know why the people in my work always look so sad... Now what would you say to that? Let alone explain it to a child? Because honestly, I have absolutely no idea. Do I simply enjoy it or is there something more? Is it something I think about constantly? Could there be sadness buried inside? Well, I decided that trying to find out would be a very exhausting process. So cowardly as I was, I suggested truce to my little critic and offered her to do a 'happy' drawing instead.

This, was what I came up with. And her comment was?

"She looks nice, but how come the clown looks so sad?"

... *SIGH*... So much for a 'happy' drawing, huh?

Sunshine Through My Window

All I wanted the first time I started this blog was to share my thoughts and show the world what I see through my eyes and my heart. I never dreamed that I would meet so many incredible, honest and loving people that I am now blessed to call friends. I guess this goes to show that the world isn't all that bad, since there still are people who could be sunshine on a rainy day. So thank you my dearest friend, Susan Mordigal of Susan Beth Studio, for giving me this award and I'm more than excited to pass it along to 12 other beautiful 'sunshine friends'. And seeing that Susan has already presented the same award to a few people I also have in mind, I'm afraid I'm going to give the award to those people too because I love them so much! You know who you are, so if you get more than one award, then it's just solid proof that you are that wonderful!!

Kathy Hare of Moongazing Hare

Jessie of Jessie Lilac

Ces of Ces and Her Dishes

Krista of Krista Hamrick Illustration

Nicola of Nicola Toms Designs

Rossichka of Out of the Shell

Helen  of The Willows Nest

Shirley of Shirley's Illustrations

Bella of Bella Sinclair Doodlespot

Vanessa of Ooh La La Design Studio 

Sandra Vargas of SandyGrafik

Julie-ann Bowden of Heavenleigh Art

Flor of Zumbudrule

Evangelina Prieto of Evangelina Prieto Ilustracion

...And since I'm cheating already... I'm giving this award back to you, sweet, sweet Susan!! xx

So you all must know how this works, right? (of course, this doesn't apply to you, the experienced award recipients!!). Just do exactly what I did... minus the 'cheating' if you can!! Hahaha...

- Display the award logo within your post.

- Mention the person you received the award(s) from, including the link to their blog(s).

- Pass along the award to 12 more people who you think should receive one, including their links too.

- Of course, don't forget to notify these lovely people about their awards!

Both Sides of the Story

Today is a bleak, bleak day. My heart aches, for I have been misunderstood.

It never is easy for me when someone takes my words or actions in a wrong way. Having to hear that he or she is hurt because of them makes my heart aches even more. What did I do to hurt you? would be the first question I ask and I'm sorry would definitely follow because deliberate offense is something I've sworn to delete in my vocabulary of actions since a long, long time ago. However, mistakes is something I cannot guarantee not to make in my life because no matter how advanced a human mind is, each of us thinks in very different ways from one another. The way I see it, some things are never really black or white, some can't always be right or wrong. There are things that are acceptable to myself, but unacceptable to others and vice versa. Our individual minds determine our choices and decisions, hopefully to make the right one at the end, or at least one that is the safest to people around us.

If there's one very important thing I learned from human relationships, is seeing things from both sides of the story. Yours and mine. There is always a reason behind every word and action, strangely enough, asking or listening always seems to be the last thing we do. Some gets emotional and let anger gets the best of them, some stay quiet and let assumptions eat them from inside.

So why was I misunderstood? My heart is still aching.

Different opinions and wrong assumptions. The very classic of all tales.

So my dear sister, brother, friend or any passer by in my life, I apologize deeply if you ever misunderstood me for my words or actions. Believe me when I say that hurting you deliberately would be the last thing I ever do. But please, never judge me or label me in your mind or even let others think differently of me before you demand my reasons. I think everyone deserves at least a tiny right of self-explanation.

That's my side of the story. What's yours?

Whispers of My Love (IF - Brave)

Be brave, my child, for the world out there is unknown to you.

Keep your heart and your soul in their rightful place,

and the memories of my love will guide you through.

Always believe that your light will shine as bright as the stars.

Never listen to those who tell you otherwise.

Remember that my prayers will stay with you forever.

So be brave, my child, for your life will be sweet,

as long as you believe it, 
with all your heart and all your might. 


** A.K.**

To my little girl, I wish you everything you dream of... and so much more.