An Unsent Message - Blessings

My dear friends,

It's been raining everyday where I am, and it looks like the monsoon season is starting early this year, even the thunders confirmed it last night. Funny isn't it? Just when you think the storm has finally died down, the clouds suddenly seem to have gathered again. It makes you appreciate those short peaceful moments after the rain even more than before.

I think for many people, including myself, this is a constantly repeating theme of our life. The paths we take and how we choose to live them, forms a pattern that we have to face everyday. Sometimes creating a balance, but many times becoming a domino effect that never seems to end. Such is the story of my life. All because of a decision I made over five years ago, to finally embrace my passion fully and promised myself never to look back. It's one crucial decision that I should have taken at the beginning, long before I started a family. To be quite honest, ever since that day my life has been a never ending marathon, against time and obstacles.

Of course, I try to take everything as positively as I possibly can. It's not easy to build a career and raise children at the same time. When the economy is unstable around the world and bar of expectations is set up high, there's not much left to do but to worry. Sometimes all I want to do is crawl under my bed and just stay there. Yes, it's true. Not all is fine and dandy, not all is calm and pretty. But haven't we all been there? Does it ever stop you from trying even harder? All I know is that the storm will always come and go. The dominoes will probably keep on falling and the finish line is way, way up there behind the horizon. Right now, the marathon continues and all I have is a pocketful of hopes and a vision of how I dream my life to be at the end of this race.

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Unsent Messages is a series of thoughts, memories, feelings or experiences in life that I started to write a few years ago. It's been a while since I last written one and today, without warning, the need of letting go suddenly felt strong. I intend to write more of these messages. Some may be about me personally, some may be inspired by stories of others.

Thank you (you know who you are) for the truly inspiring conversation we had the other day. It made me think about how much life has toughened me inside out and to thank my lucky stars for always shining its light at the most concealed paths. Just when I needed them most.


With love,

Another Ending... (IF - Mail)

 Fallen expectations, acrylics on paper

My dearest friends and loved ones,

I started this year with a long list of resolutions and expectations. Some came through, some didn't. Some ended in victory, and some remain as dreams to pursue. Either way, life proves to be as bitter and as just sweet as it always does. Never predictable nor easy, but thrilling and gratifying in the same time.

So thank you, life. For the love grown and friendships found, shared laughter and tears I shed, opened doors and sudden diversions. But most of all, thank you for leaving me the room to grow.

I hope this year was a good year for you. Hopefully the next will be even better.

Much love to you,
Amalia oxox

An Unsent Message (Troubled Water)

Dear best friend,

I've been thinking about you.

Do you remember the times when we used to get so fed up of life? The way we used to take long rides to nowhere, singing Simon and Garfunkel's Bridge Over Troubled Water? How we would cry while we laughed at the same time? I would tell you how glad I was that we had each other. You would just make a silly face and tell me to watch the road.

I listened to that song today. Over and over and over, until I cried and cried. But I couldn't laugh. Not without you.

If only I could tell you how much I wish you never left. How much I wish I could still call you up for a cup of coffee or a walk down the park. How much I wish that we didn't have to part so soon because I had imagined so many times how we would grow old together and be silly until the very end.

Now I am here. You are there, somewhere in a different world. I miss you. You have no idea.

But I will be strong for you, and live my life happily for you. I know you would want me to.

Farewell, dear one. Until we meet again on the other end of the bridge.


Forever your best friend,

~ A.K ~

 ~ Bridge Over Troubled Water ~

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

(Simon and Garfunkel) 

An Unsent Message (Enclosing Radiance)

My dear friend,

Do you remember the time when I told you how much I love the rain?

The way clouds form and shade the world with their endless shadow, stretching from one point of view to another. The winds humming in my ears with their soft alluring tunes, slowly transforming into a ballad of ardent yearning and longing. How the sound of the first drops falling from the sky mesmerize me and the scent of earth lingering as they touch the ground. The coolness in the air penetrates into every pore of my skin, traveling to my patiently awaiting lungs as I breathe it in. It is a painting of wonders that constantly lives in my mind.

Today, I see a streak of light shining through the stretch of clouds. It dances ever so gently, touching my world with its sheer luminosity, highlighting every valley and mountain that I still yet to conquer. Places that had remained hidden for a long time, before this very day. 

Where did it come from? Where is it traveling to? Questions, and more questions I need to find answers to. But today, I shall be content. I shall stay and marvel at the luminous light that now seems to break into strays of fine golden sparks. Today, I shall be in peace. And leave my world enclosed in their tender caressing radiance.

I hope peace finds you wherever you are, my dear, dear friend.
 

An embrace,
~ A.K. ~

An Unsent Message (Reminiscence)

My dear friend,

I dream even when I am awake. Have I ever told you this before?

Images fill my head no matter what I do or where I am. They take me away to places I’ve never seen and speak to me in whispers of riddles. It is never easy to contain them. They push and pull, begging for me to open the door. Sometimes they even sing to me in hypnotic serenades, shifting me to higher grounds and more.

Have I ever told you this before?

Then something struck me. I think you already know. It paralyzed my brain and blinded my senses, swiftly taking away all the colors that lingered in my vision and turned every corner of my mind into a sparkling white mist of divinity. Somewhere, a hidden tunnel is now opened. New images have flown out, dancing with great brilliancy. My senses revived, my energy storming in a passionate rush.

Yes, I still dream even when I am awake.

I think you already know.

 ~ A.K ~

A note to my wonderful artist friends...

True inspiration is a blessing. Don't you think? Sometimes it hits you when you least expect it. Sometimes it wakes you up to things you never knew possible. So use it wisely, I say, and embrace it passionately. Be brave and let it show you who you truly are.

But then, I'm sure you already know.


With love,
Amalia